Do you remember a time when you scrapped your knee or broke a limb growing up?
What happen once you hurt yourself? Most of us put a bandage on or got a cast and then the healing began. I'm sure you've heard during the healing process to rest and not pick at your wounds or they won't heal properly.
Your mind is the same thing, when you are down and out and have suffered a failure or a loss you must learn to rest, not pick at the emotional wounds or YOU will not heal properly. Many people look to others for healing, yet people around you are meant to only act as doctors. They put a cast or bandage on you, then YOU must heal yourself no one can heal for you. A friend can pick you up if you fall down but you need to get back on your own two feet.
We can turn to people to ease our pain, yet think of people like as "painkillers", sure friends and family ease the pain but if we rely on them whenever we think there is pain then we become addicted. And I'm sure you know someone who is addicted to painkillers, it's not a pretty sight.
Here is your prescription-
Stop picking at the emotional wounds, the more you analyze your pain the less it heals.
Use friends and family for comfort, use time for healing from a large blow. You must heal yourself and get back on your own two feet. And when you forget this, think back when you were young and scrapped your knee.
It hurt and didn't look very nice but when you took care of it, healing began and the scars were minimal.