The one person in your life

Are you confused about someone in your life?

I'm sure you have heard the term "toxic people", these are people you should try and eliminate from your life.  These people tend to poison your mind with negativity, rumors and are always letting you down.  If you have someone in your life that fits this description, limit your time with them as much as you can.

There is another type of person in your life whom you may be mistaking as a toxic person, be careful you do not need to eliminate this person. Do you have someone in your life that bounces around from relationship to relationship?  How about someone you find simply has a family life you cannot agree with?  And lastly, that one person who has a hobby that you find to be simply a waste of time.
Every time you are around this person you tell them what they are doing is wrong, you are always trying to change their ways. Even with the hate and anger you hold for this person you consider them as your best friend.  You both get along so well, you can confide in each other, share life experiences and you even look forward to time spent with this person.

If you have someone in your life you can't understand and criticize them for there actions you are a toxic person to them, and slowly them may leave you. Scary, isn't it.......

We must stop trying to figure these people out and learn to respect their life choices, as hard as it may seem. If you truly care about someone, just be there for them in hard times and good times.  Nobody wants to hear they are making the wrong life choices, especially from a friend.  How do you like it when someone points out your flaws? (don't lie)  Life is tuff enough to try and figure out on our own and we do not need to start and try to figure out why people do what they do, it's exhausting.

People do not change, yet you can make all the changes in the world.  It's up to you to make changes not for people in your life to make changes so you can be happy!  Next time your friend makes a silly choice and you don't agree with it, learn not to criticize.  You can go home write it down on paper and destroy it, a friendship is difficult to understand yet to precious to throw away.  Learn to respect bad choices because you make bad choices yourself on a daily basis.

Stay motivated
Shane C.

The hardest thing you will ever do

How do you know when it's time to let go of something that hurts you?

In your life right now there a some things you can let go of, yet you probably can't figure out what those things are.  The reason is because you cannot distinguish what to keep in your life and what you should let go of.  You haven't been taught this skill yet.
The majority of people always want to get rid of stuff that is detrimental to happiness in their lives and wanting to keep what hurts them the most.  You cannot let go of family, good health, well being and everything else you take for granted but these are the exact things we try and push away on a daily basis.
You can let go of bad habits, bad influences, toxic people and anything that serves you no purpose in growth in life.  I'm here to let you know how to tell the difference.
Eliminate what causes you the most burden in your life.

It's not going to be an easy task to get rid of these things you feel you need.  Human nature hates change, we don't deal with it well.  You can observe this behavior in a baby's eating habits.

When a baby is breast fed it loves the comfort and bond it develops from being fed by it's mother, there is nothing that can break that bond until the bottle is introduced.  The baby fights the bottle with all it's might because it really hates the feeling of this change.  An infant fights it, always wanting to go back to his mother's breast. Mother knows breast feeding no longer serves a purpose for the babies growth and development.  Then the day food is introduced and just like the bottle the food is not welcomed by the baby, it now fights for the exact thing thing it rejected in the first place, the bottle.  As you can see, even from childhood we always fight change, because change is a difficult aspect in life to deal with.

We often fight to keep the things that do not serve us because we feel we could not live without them.  They give us a sense of well being and comfort until the moment they hurt us.  Seek growth in what you have in life, if something prevent you from growing, eliminate it so you can get more focused on the elements in your life that provide you growth.

One way to tellThe things you often think you can live without, (grass is greener on the other side) you actually need in your life. 
The things you fight to do and keep in your life, can probably be eliminated, they live in your comfort zone.

Look at your friends
Who do tell everyone your never going to talk to again?  Yet once you see them you have a close bond that leaves you filled with negative energy when you leave.  This close friend, can be picked out as the one whom when associate with the important people in your life let you know they are hurting your well being. (Listen to loved ones)
I have several of these friends and I know for growth I must stay away from them as much as possible.  We have a great time together,  but I know to never allow our friendship to become a habit.

Begin to analyse your life, ask yourself what or who no longer serves you purpose for growth and begin to really figure out how you can distance yourself from these elements.  If it's a person, ask yourself do they help me growth spiritually, mentally and emotionally?

Stay motivated
Shane C.

Start trying

There's one thing I've noticed, whenever a sales contest in my company comes up and great prizes can be won people give up before they even start.  As my excitement rises and I talk to other salespeople, it seems the enthusiasm they show is next to nothing.  They've already given up saying stuff like:

"Why try I don't work enough hours?"
"The other person always wins"

Many people sabotaged their chances at opportunity and give up feeling they haven't got a chance. People tell themselves everything is stacked against them so why even try.  I'll tell you why you should try, because you could end up being the best and you could succeed and become the biggest sensation this world has ever seen but you must try.

When I first started working for the company I'm presently with, a sales contest came up for a trip.  There was one problem, the previous winner was working at a very successful location in Canada, many customers were already spending large amounts of cash with this salesperson everyday, it simply looked impossible to win.  One more thing that was stacked up against me, I had to sell a product at the time I didn't know anything about and I really didn't believe in.  To make a long story short I ended up in Jamaica and selling double what was sold in the previous contest.  I don't tell this story to show off, I tell it because everything was built up against me when I began, and I made a very important decision, that was to TRY!

The second you decide to try something that's out of your comfort zone, you start to become a different person.  You start thinking differently, acting differently and turn into an automatic winner, I say winner because your at least TRYING.  So what if you don't achieve what your trying the first time, it could take you 25 tries to get what you want,  it's possible that it takes you 100 times to get what you want.  If you keep at it, the rest will get tired of trying and eventually you will get it.

Next time an opportunity comes your way, decide to try.  Tell yourself you will win, everybody wants fame and glory.  If you have no idea how you could compete against other people for a major opportunity, realize this one great thing: 

ALL MASTERS WERE ONCE DISASTERS.

Become great!

Stay motivated
Shane C.

Get over your bullies

Are you living someone else's opinion?

Do you remember being in school and having people bully you about something?  If you were ever bullied, your self confidence becomes affected so negatively that eventually you start to believe it.

In school I had terrible acne, it was on my face, back and shoulders and people bothered me about it a lot.  They bothered me so much that I hated going swimming because I had to take my shirt off. My self esteem was so low I couldn't talk to anyone without thinking all they would only judge me only by how my skin looked.  I started bodybuilding when I was 17 years old and could not even show anyone my results due to the fear I had.  Do you want to know why this fear was so ridiculous?  My skin cleared up when I was 20.  I continued living with a shame and fear for about 11 years that was totally imaginary, and all because I started to believe what people told me many years ago.  I'm 33 now and have built up great confidence that I rarely think about those days anymore.

All the results up to this point in your life are an accumulation of your beliefs and actions.  Many of us are living a total lie because someone affected us many years ago with what THEY thought of us.  We heard lies about us so many times we got brainwashed into believing in. This is all because we allowed our emotions to take over.  The second you allow emotions to control your actions and thinking your in BIG trouble.

You can change.

If you start thinking back, to your childhood and teenage years you will find out what you were bullied into believing.  Once you've figured it out, start to examine why you still believe it to this day.
All beliefs can be changed, this is a fact!  It takes some positive self talk and a bit of vision but it's fairly easy to do and there are many books on it. (email me for some names of books)

When you finish reading this in a few seconds,  start to realize you are not:
-Ugly
-Stupid
-Worthless
-Undeserving
-Smelly
-Crazy
-Slutty
-Jerk

Your not any of those you simply started to believe it many years ago and envisioned yourself into becoming that.  All you must do is create the vision of the perfect you, hold it firmly in your mind and you will start to believe the positive version of yourself.  The real version of yourself is so amazing, you have no idea yet!  Once you give yourself a chance to shine you become an instant success :-)

Stay motivated
Shane C

The question to ask yourself

We all like to play with bad things that hurt us over and over again.  People, crazy lifestyles, poor health and risky behavior are really, really fun things to do!  Although, the second were done having fun we always live to regret it.

-Someone keeps hurting you and you swear that you'll never go near this person again.
-You party to much one night and you swear your never going to have another drink again.
-You get an unhealthy report from your doctor and you swear you will change your unhealthy ways to a life of health.
-Or you simply do some dumb move, that you knew wasn't a good idea and you swear your never going to make a dumb move again.

We all know what happens though, we always go back and hurt ourselves again with the same people, situations and risky behavior.  I understand why we do this but I'm not sure if you are aware.  As dumb humans we are always searching for a "higher state".  This is why we always do things that help us achieve a feeling we are not presently feeling in that moment, we're just never satisfied.  And this is fine, I'll be the first to admit I'm this way, I seek out things that hurt me all the time and I do this because they feel so good knowing I shouldn't be doing them, and I know you do it to.  I'm here to say it's fine to get a little crazy, but sometimes we need to know how to draw the line, notice I didn't say when to draw the line (that's to serious). 

When I'm getting a little out of control, I always ask myself this question:

"What I'm I trying to get out of this?"

And at the point I ask myself that simple question, it stops me dead in my tracks and I usually end up stopping the behavior I'm doing right in that moment.

Instead of living with days of regret ask yourself that simple question when things are getting a little to crazy, and I almost guarantee you will stop and think before you make things worse for yourself.  It's a magic question that has gotten me out of many sticky situations which I have found myself in more that I'd like to admit

Stay motivated
Shane C

Undiscovered

In life there are people we often look up to, wishing and hoping we had things a little more like them. Their job seems better, the person they are with always seems better and their homes are always better.  Everything always looks better looking inside someone else's life.  There is a false belief that if we only had things as they did we would have more happiness and better chances at success.

Did you know the people whom you look up to are human just like you?  It's true, we all have flaws and weakness', even the most successful people in this world don't have everything in order the way you think they do.  From the outside, it only appears this way because you are choosing to see only what you want to see.
I have great news, you have everything you need right now to get you where you need to be. You do not require extra things in your life or any other special skills right at this moment to start to get more successful or reach a higher level happiness, all you require is your motivation, your positive thoughts and the self confidence you have been given to reach whatever you are trying to attain.

You may think you know yourself to well, but there is someone deep down inside of you wanting to get out and show the world who you really are.  You have these talents you haven't discovered laying dormant inside, even skills you've never explored and it's only a boring daily routine and negative self talk that keeps you from achievement.  I know you are better than negative self talk and a boring daily routine and you know it too.  Start shaking things up and trying new areas of your life.

The point I'm getting at is this, your are an amazing person who can do anything as of right now.  The only thing getting in the way is the person you think you are.  Begin to discover the person hidden deep down inside of you and one day you will become someone people wished they were like.

Stay motivated
Shane C

Comfort kills your dreams

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

When children are growing up they never say:
"When I grow up. I want to become an average paid worker nobody notices".
They want to become doctors, lawyers and astronauts, kids know how to dream big!
I know your also a dreamer, yet somewhere along the way you got to comfortable to keep forging ahead. 
Fear, security and comfort just got in the way of you reaching the top.

Myself, I'm doing pretty well career wise but I want more (I always do), I want more out of myself and I want to forge ahead in different areas in my industry and I know the ideal position I'm thriving towards.  With all that there is something I want even more, and that is to become a professional public speaker, that gets my blood pumping.  On top of that, I want to be so good I become a trainer to other professional public speakers, and that scares me.  So the first thing I do when the fear strikes me is tell myself to GO FOR IT!

To many of you have an automatic shut off switch once fear hits.  You feel fear, and you go right into your regular frame of mind of "I have a regular life, and it must remain exactly the same".
Your life does not need to remain the same, many years ago you started on a journey towards success and some how you shut down your motivation and  it happens to the best of us, but now it's time for you to keep moving ahead because the world is passing you by.

I'm not saying quit your job, let's take security out of this equation.  I'm talking about getting better so you can reach the top.  Learn to face comfort and fear head on, the second you face those two factors your whole life will begin to change.

If your a wash dishes in a bar and you can't see yourself owning the place one day, move on to something you want to do.  You may need to start at the absolute bottom position and work your way up but you got to start somewhere.  Get into a career that you see yourself at the top on day, if you don't start now you may feel to old to do anything else later down the road of life.

Use this checklist to get ahead

-How many years have you been doing the same thing? (depressing feeling isn't it)
-Determine exactly what you want to do
-Observe how the top people behave
-Start doing what you do, the best you know how
-Study books, audio and video on how to get better
-Accept any opportunities
-Don't over analyze, the world has no time
-Stay away from the conversations that make you question your ideal life

Now think back to your childhood, did you think you would be where you are today?  If you said no, then start back on that road to success and simply realize you settled into life because it got comfortable.

Stay motivated
Shane C

What to do when your mad

Do you actually prove a point when you hate someone?

If your like me, you often run into people you simply don't mix with.  You have no connection with certain people you come in contact with.  I often get this feeling along with thousands of other people, it's normal were human.

The feeling of hatred affect us physically and mentally, you often look like a maniac to others when you show hate.

When you really hate someone, you hurt yourself more than the other person.

How you come off to someone

When you're around someone you can't stand, craziness and anger run through your head, words of hate and frustration fill your mind. 
The person your upset with really has no clue that they have done anything wrong.  You seem a little cold towards them but that's all, if anything you will simply confuse them. (Men, it's the feeling you get when the women in your life are giving you the silent treatment).

What hate does to you

When you are truly angry with someone, your mind races and you can't focus on anything.  If you're a truly goal oriented person like myself, this can kill your focus. 
Your blood pressure goes sky high, your digestion shuts down and your get subject to pre-mature aging from the unnecessary stress you give yourself.

What to do about it

I could talk about forgiveness but that's losing battle most people can't truly understand.

Try this instead:
-Step number one is to shut your mind off, get control of your thinking and I'll let you know the simplest way to do this.
When something is bothers you, write it down with a pen and write exactly why you are mad.  Put everything down on paper as quickly as you can write it down.  Once your done, put the paper away and read it the next day. 
Funny thing is we can't think straight when were upset and everything you have written down will make absolutely no sense, especially if you read it out loud to yourself.  You will realize by reading your problems aloud that they really won't seem as bad as you once thought. Once you've read it, burn it or destroy it and learn to get over it. 

This is not an anger management exercise from a course I was forced to take....lol
It is simply an effective thing to do when your really mad, being mad is not a great way to feel.  You have so many great goals to achieve that you don't always have time for hate and madness. 

Do this exercise and you will feel great.

Stay motivated
Shane C.

Healing after failure

Have you ever been down in the dumps with no signs of success or happiness?

The feeling of being a total failure and being unable to do anything about a situation can lead you to a pretty dark place in your life.  I'm here to tell you that you will make it through, and it doesn't take as much effort as you think.

Last year I was faced with my wife wanting to leave me, and this was devastating me.  I can remember the night it happened.  I was awake all night thinking about the rest of my life, and it didn't look very appealing.  I couldn't figure out how I would ever continue thriving for success and happiness.  My whole life's priorities took a shift in an instant and I was terrified. I was in a very "dark place" and it lasted for months.
I tell you this not to bring you down or feel sorry for me, I'm passed that now.  The point I want to make is this, I didn't think I could ever find the success I was looking for anymore and I found my way back to working my way towards the top.

I slowly learned that the faster I wanted to move on with my life and forge ahead, the faster I would need to take my focus off the situation that was driving me down.  It doesn't matter what you are suffering from, heart ache, failure at work or loss of something meaningful, you will only heal by "shifting your focus" to what makes you heal.  It's difficult at first, maybe you can only start to focus for 30 seconds a day but eventually your focus is so intense on what makes you happy again you will not have realized that days or even months of sadness have simply melted away.

All failures big or small are simply guides to help you learn.  Learn from them and move on to the next issue in life.  You grow the more you go through but always put into action the things you learn.

Stay motivated
Shane C.