Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Have you ever felt the need to withhold "LOVE" due to being hurt time and time again?

Let me begin by explaining that I'm not an expert in the topic of love or relationships, yet I am pretty well educated in the psychology of it.
To love someone is a verb, it's something you choose to do, and it gently blossoms to an attachment or affection towards people and even things or activities.  That's all it is, nothing more nothing less.  It's not Hollywood, Love is not a moment in time as many picture it in their minds.  It is something you choose to feel towards someone.  Everything else that comes with Love are positive actions.

Choosing to care, having deep desire and protecting the honor of the people you Love are the actions you do when you Love someone. Yet, that is only one version of what Love is.  Everyone has different versions that they have learned growing up.

The first step is understanding that not everyone has the same pictures of what Love is in their minds.  A man's mind and woman's mind are so different it's seems as though both minds could never function togther and for the most part they don't.  This is where communication comes in, we don't all communicate in the same manner it does not mean that people do not love each other it simply means that minds are different.

Most people look at another whom they have Love towards and wonder why the picture in their minds does not match up with their friend's or spouse's actions.  The internal dialogue often goes like this:

"Why don't they ever do ____ or_____ ?  They should know how much it means to me".

The real problem with that type of dialogue is the other people in your life cannot read what you are thinking.  A better approach is:

"How can I show them affection?"

I can tell you right now, what you will show them as affection or Love may not match up with what that person views as Love.  Simply put, you need to stop worrying about how people should Love you.  Show people Love often and do not give up because you envisioned a reaction they did not give you.  Love them always, and show them as many loving actions as you would want them to show you.  You may see that the effort you expected from them to be a little unrealistic.  You must change yourself so people around you start to change.

Love is complicated, and I'll say it again it's not Hollywood. 
-It's being there and encouraging someone when they are down without them asking you to. 
-It's standing beside them when they hurt. 
-It's the feeling you get when you hear terrible news about someone and you break down. 

You may not know you Love someone till it's to late, now start showing people around you what love is and stop being preoccupied with how they should Love you.

Just to finish off today's blog true love is in this video watch at 2:39.  Watch and learn...
Stay motivated
Shane C.

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