Kick fear in the face!

Have you ever cleaned your home and then sat down and said to yourself: "Now what?".

In life, when you get something accomplished that you have been putting off and procrastinating about a strange sense of a peace comes over you. It can be something as small finally sitting down to watch a movie you've been meaning to watch.  Once it's over you can say to yourself, I've done it and it really wasn't that bad.

Yesterday, as I was getting ready to go to sleep I had one of those moments, the kind of moment when I said to myself: "Now what?".

I've been going to Toastmasters (public speaking) for about 5 months, trying to face a fear of speaking, I don't have a fear of speaking to people it's more a fear of not knowing a subject and looking like a fool in front of a crowd, so I have been getting up for an exercise called "Table topics" where you only have 1 minute to prepare for a subject that you will be talking about. I still haven't mastered this but I will, then yesterday came something new....

THE SPEECH

It was now time to perform my prepared speech, a piece of work I worked on for 2 weeks and practiced over and over again.  When I woke up I was ready, I had cue cards (which I never needed), a prop and a confident attitude, I hadn't had any fears then I arrived at the meeting.  As the meeting started and we got up to read the mission statement it happened to me, a fear like nothing I've ever felt.  The fear was so intense I told myself "I must leave right now!", the room literally started to change colors, I lost feeling in my hands and thought I was going to faint....that would be embarrassing!
As people gave their speeches, I wished I could have listened but I couldn't hear, I literally thought I was about to die.  Then it was time to hit the stage, I went for it and physically I had no control.  While speaking my voice shook like I was about to cry and my arms trembled but I got through the talk and from the feedback I received I must have done well.
All this was so strange to me, I've spoken to people before in trainings and it's never been an issue. I think it had to do with what label I gave the speech, this was public speaking and I need to be scared of it.

The point is, I did it and I killed a fear that I've never felt before. I now wonder to myself if this fear is conquered what else can I conquer?
I want you to look at your fears and excuses and ask yourself, when I finally face my fear what will be left to do?  When you grab something you are afraid of and throw it down like a football and yell "TOUCHDOWN!" you will have conquered it.
Face a fear, as uncomfortable as it may be and you can say to yourself: "Now what?".  Life will seem that mush easier.

Stay motivated
Shane C.

The big mistake in making change

What changes would you like to make in your life?

Would you like to go back to the gym, become vegetarian or even something like wake up 2 hours earlier so you can accomplish more?  For growth, we all need to make changes but change is very intimidating, unless you know how to do it.

I'm sure you have meet someone in your life that has decided they needed to get back to the gym so they could get back in shape.  They go out buy new clothes for the gym, fill their fridge with the cleanest foods in the world, hire a trainer and spend 2 hours at the gym for about 7 weeks and then it happens......
An injury or a stack of excuses start getting in the way of quick progress. Now why does this happen? 
You see people try and change to fast by making drastic changes but unfortunately your mind, nervous system and body are not always ready to make a 100% change for the better.

How do we change?
One of my favorite books is THE COMPOUND EFFECT by Darren Hardy, the concept is that slow and steady changes turns us into champions.  We always want change, but we go about it the wrong way every single time.  Here are some quick tips so you can begin to make changes in your life.

You want to get in shape- Start of by walking or doing a  20 minute light workout at home, do this for minimum 1 month.  If that motivates you enough, go get a membership at the gym.  People often fail to realize changing your body doesn't require you to be a contestant on The Biggest Loser.

You want more responsibility at work- Take on one task, complete it then ask for another.  Watch to not get overwhelmed by to much, it's about quality not quantity.

You want to change your eating habits- Slowly do it over a few weeks.  Number one mistake people make is being to strict, staying away from everything they use to eat, start by changing 1 or 2 meals per day and allow yourself foods you enjoy while you gently make the change, doing so keeps your sanity and when you are ready, make a complete change over.

I often shake my head at people when they tell me how they want to make a change, they have their whole lives planned out overnight and it is filled with drastic changes. The bar is set way to high for them, the second they fail to meet their high expectations they beat themselves up for not being as strict as their schedules are.  This is a sure sign of giving up, learn to make changes slowly and congratulate yourself on your successes when you reach your small goals and eventually without realizing it your whole life will have changed using small and easy steps towards becoming great.


Stay motivated
Shane C.

Look what I can do!! (Rant)

I'm sure most people have a problem with those who try and show off, people who do things with a "Look what I can do" motive behind it.  These people are found in the workplace, in social situations and in your home sometimes.  The problem is, we don't have time to validate peoples accomplishments every second of the day, at least I don't.

I can validate your accomplishments in life if what you do is great but forget about a pat on the back if what you do is simply "good".  What annoys me are people that search for that pat on the back because they feel a little inferior.  In life people need to understand, children get validated, adults get paid!  When you do things you should be doing anyway it's not a reason for celebration from the outside world.
Myself, extremely competitive like to show off my wins, although it may come off arrogant the reason I do so is to find those few people whom it can inspire to get better.  I want people to get better and better as they go through life, instead of going stale and always complaining the world isn't fair.  These people are hard to find, and I hope you become a self validating person who can celebrate their own wins without looking to others for a "Way to be you!" cheer.

What I believe in, is self validation, I'm proud of what I do and try and learn from my mistakes.  I always try and get better results so I can feel better about myself, yet I don't look to people to tell me "Wow!  Good job!" Sure it's nice to hear it, but once you mature you can realize people around you are not there to give you a high five every time you do the obvious. 

Stay motivated
Shane C.

Do yu truly hate it? Maybe you don't!

It often seems in our lives that we get angry at the things we love. You often don't realize how much you love something until it is taken away from you.  Once taken from you, life become a scramble to try and get it back, you talk to yourself daily coming up with solutions on how to get what is now gone.

Then, there are times when something just doesn't seem right, you don't get angry you simply know something isn't right in your life. 

Some of you may know I was married, I'm now separated and it took me awhile to get over the whole not being married anymore.  This was my "hating the thing I loved", what I mean by this is I loved being married to my best friend but some days I had negative feelings about some part of being married.  It wasn't anything big, just negativity for a couple of hours, yet I knew I loved my marriage and my wife.  Then when the marriage was taken away, I got scared and didn't know how I would live life anymore, nothing life threatening but when something you love is gone you freak out a bit...lol. 
It felt like any anger or negativity I ever had, I simply wanted to take back as if I never had felt it before.  What I loved was gone and it hurt.

Now let's take a part of my life where I knew something was wrong, my career.  I come from a very small town where my choices for work were to become a laborer or something in construction, I didn't have many choices at my disposal.  I did this for a few years and I knew deep down inside this wasn't me.  I can remember doing work at peoples homes saying to myself: "One day I will be hiring people to come do these jobs".  I knew something was wrong and I wanted out, I could never quite understand why I was coming to work everyday.
Then came the day I discovered sales, I loved it instantly.  I work in management, I sell, I write and I speak and I know how much I love these things in my life.  Somedays do I get incredibly angry, frustrated and want to throw things.....YES!  This tells me one thing, that I love it I don't think I would trade it for the world.  It would hurt if it was taken away from me but it didn't hurt one bit when the construction thing was taken, that didn't hurt a bit.

I'm trying to calm you down by letting you know it's alright to get frustrated at the things in your life, if you are totally at peace with what you are doing when you are focused in it then you know there is a great chance you love it, you may have just forgotten how much you felt about it.
It comes time for change when your doing something and suddenly you look at your life thinking: "This isn't me", something just won't seem right almost like your living someone elses life. 
Look over your life and really ask yourself what are you truly comfortable with and what seems out of place in your life.  The things you are truly comfortable with are probably what you are most attached to emotionally and would simply go crazy if they were taken from you.
Work harder on the things you love

Stay motivated
Shane C.  

Be you and be proud!

Extra!  Extra! Read all about it, we're all human and there is no need to be ashamed anymore.

I say this because we all have flaws and habits that can be quite boring or even unacceptable to some, the reason for this is because we are all human.  Some choose to hide the day-to-day routines they have chosen by coming up with elaborate stories of the lives they are not actually living instead of being honest and letting people know they aren't always living life on the edge.

Take me for example, I work in the health food industry and people often see me outside of work enjoying a hamburger and a fry, some people are shocked by this.  I like fast food, it's a part of my life I would like more balance in and when I'm ready to cut it out I have all the tools to take those steps to better myself.

Also, if you haven't noticed I love to motivate, I pride myself on personal development and helping people develop their own skills, but if you ask me what I did on the weekend it's not very exciting, you can usually find me asleep by 10pm on the couch with drool on my face and and movie playing on TV.
Could I be doing more constructive things?  Yes I could, but I'm not always looking for a stage to stand on to speak, and I'm not always enjoying a steamed chicken breast with a side of asparagus, I'm not afraid to admit this because most of you reading this are just as boring as I am.  Admit it!

Next time you are talking with people and the subject of health or daily routine comes up, either be honest or keep your mouth shut. There is no reason to tell people that you do things everyday that you only do once every 2 months, this is not being honest to yourself or people you are talking to.  If you workout once or twice per week, why tell people you train 5-6 days a week?  Be honest, telling the truth will allow you to break out of your own shell, lying keeps you shielded and protected against yourself.
It's much more therapeutic and motivating to talk about what you want to do or who you want to become, this gets conversations going and you do not need to hide behind a story you have made up about your life.  You will find that when speaking to others, letting them in on your quirks and flaws make you a more relateable person.  By becoming more relateable to others you become more genuine, and isn't that what you were trying to do by making up tall tales about your life?

Stay motivated
Shane C 

How to make a complaint

How to effectively make a complaint.

Have you ever gotten upset and tried to change things in an organization, service or a business?  Sure we all have and it usually involves doing one of two things:

1.  We mumble to ourselves all kinds of obscene words and violent acts about the complaint.
2.  We flip out and think we get our way by being rude and mean towards someone.

Yesterday I dealt with a number 2-

I dealt with someone who was very irrate with service they have been receiving over the years, every month this person always has some sort of complaint about something.  They are always rude and trying to walk all over myself and people with whom they deal with.  I must admit when I am pushed, I don't smile and try and please you.  I answer you with logical answers and I try my best to get you to understand what I can do to the best of my abilities.
So when faced with more complaints yesterday, I layed out an easy solution for this person to follow, nothing difficult, simply a solution.  Well this person did not like my answer and proceeded to flip out on me attacking my personality, cursing at me and attacking me personally (customer service industry usual). 

I understand I cannot please everyone in this world and not everyone will like me.  I can accept this, but it brings me to why I'm writing this today.  I want people to understand how to effectively make a complaint.

1. Be nice
If you want something changed, you must learn to persuade by being nice and not rude.  You want people to accept your way of thinking and not make them angry.  The second you upset someone, they always resort to there own defense mechanism and never want to hear you out.

2. Complain to the right people
This is where this person always goes wrong.  They complain about something I have no control over, yes I can be a listener but when I cannot change it so why yell at me?
It's almost like yelling at the delivery person because you ordered no onions on your pizza yet the cook added onions. The delivery person can only do so much but they did not put onions on your pizza.

3. Just walk away
If nothing is happening complaint after complaint, that means the way you are complaining is not working.  Just walk away, I'm sorry to say but you are probably in the wrong (I know you don't want to hear that).  If you complain over and over and you never get results you simply become the person that people in the organization, business or service are complaining about.  You become a larger problem than the actual complaint.

Coming for a customer service industry I want you to understand, a complaint can help you but it can also hurt your credibility.  Everybody can appreciate feedback, but not many can understand criticism. 
The day you become angry, irrate or violent toward someone is the day you lose the battle.  You lose respect in the eyes of the person you attack.  Learn to be nice to people, that is the best method to get your way.  When you deal with a human being, understand you are also a human being and people like to be treated the same way you do.  Sure you may get bad service or not get your way...but it's life.  You cannot always get your way.  I know there books and courses that claim life should be grand but it isn't always that way.  This is how we learn, by not always getting what we want. 
Do you deserve the best in life, the answer is yes!  But you must earn it.

Stay motivated
Shane C.

Can't have one without the other

Do you kick yourself in the butt, every time you make a decision to change something in your life because you always resort back to an old habit?

This is very common we decide to do something we want only to always fall back into old habits causing us frustration in believing we can never accomplish anything.  There is great news you do not have to get angry anymore because I want to explain what you must do to help you accomplish your dreams.

Many years ago when I was training to be a bodybuilder I would always start off new routines strong, training 4-5 days per weeks and eating a clean healthy diet, yet it seemed that a few weeks in I always fell off my diet routine.  Healthy almonds were now replaced with chips, and tuna sandwiches were replaced with burgers.  This happened all the time, I even had a journal, I wrote in blue for healthy foods I ate and had a red pen for when I ate unhealthy.  If you go through my old journals you always find lots of red the further you turn the pages.
Then I figured out what my trigger was, it's my weakness- CHIPS!  I love them.  If I ate chips I fell back into a comfort zone and forgot my eating habits I needed to follow. 
I made a decision, and it worked.  Instead of deciding to eating healthy 7 days a weeks and avoiding junk food I made a decision and that was to stop eating chips.  This worked very well for me, as long as I stayed away from those tasty chips I was fine but I had to decide to stay away from them.

We all have things we want to do and we make decisions to do them yet we don't make the decision to stop doing other things.  For every healthy habit you want to begin you must stop doing an old habit.  Replace a bad thing with a good thing.

If you want to quit smoking, you must begin by finding an activity to replace smoking with.  Let's say reading for example, in the evening when you are bored instead of smoking you choose to read, this will shift your focus on something entirely different.

Eliminating triggers
Triggers are things in your life that remind you to do actions.  So let's say for example you want to quit smoking and you find out your trigger is drinking.  Every time you drink you smoke, so decide for a little while to cut out the drinks.  Now even deeper, if the reason you drink is because your buddy Paul makes you want to have a drink, I think you know who you should spend less time with :-)

Replace bad habits with good habits, this shifts your focus to something else.  The sure way to win in life is by making positive strides to become greater.  Decide what can you start doing to enrich your life and what must you eliminate for your daily routine that stands in the way of you reaching your goal?

Stay motivated
Shane C